Posts tagged ‘hypersomnia’

July 28, 2010

meant to do something today, but I forgot.

by jhon baker

I woke up this morning and put jeans on, this is not normal as I usually wear slacks with a nice t-shirt but this morning I intended to do something like tend to the lawns growth. I started in on drinking coffee and thinking, plotting out my day and noting that instead of getting out of bed at a reasonable hour I chose to spoon with K for an extra few hours.
the coffee had expired while I was dressing so what I drink is fresher and more palatable. but unfortunately delayed.
Charles Mingus’ jazz symphony ‘epitaph’ plays over the afternoon. the afternoon which is supposed to be filled with thunderstorms and rain for the grass and other various plants. overcast but without notice from the heavens.
I want for the rain, I want for the phone to ring (though I despise talking on it), I want for something to happen that doesn’t involve what had already happened.
I’ll never get to the lawn today and will feel woefully under dressed for everything, not that I will be but that truth does not invalidate the former truth.
more coffee will have to be made and the day will progress regardless of my wants, desires and frustration at sleeping so long everyday these past several days. not sleeping well at night followed by sleeping all too well during the day – one aggravates the other I know and both are caused by the withdrawal from the medication.
no-one told me how long the withdrawal is going to last because the psychiatrist was upset that I cold turkey’d it  and was concerned that I would not acquiesce to her, or rather defer my opinion to her professional opinion. Simply put it robbed me of the pure essence of life, rounding the edges and blunting the sword does not give me the highest opinion of life without the viewpoint of abnormal psychosis.

shit, I think I lost control of the post and am no longer aware of the plot.
have a poem…

my child

and you/ my child,/ who lay there sleeping,/ easily resting with lights still on/ who I dare not wake by moving// my beautiful child/  who soundly breathes/ heavy/ lying there next to me for comfort,/ I do not have the courage to move to out the light/ and hope your mother will chance by to snuff it that you may sleep still,/ dreaming what it is you dream and never remember.// always my playful, adored child/ somnolent in the house that surrounds/ and the father who fears to wake you/ accidentally.  

 – Hoc Scripsi

July 21, 2010

yard work and Miles Davis

by jhon baker

I am having that week where it is near impossible to get motivated and out of bed – like the end of a too long vacation.
but the lawn is now mowed and I think even more of a condo, there is still the weed trimming and watering the newest seed and sod. I’ve already returned to bed and day dreamed another half hour away. I can return to these things later, after fresh coffee midday, after angelic visions, masturbation, time behind the typewriter, and whatever else I can do to postpone the drudgery of yard work.

listening to Miles Davis and drinking that midday black coffee there is little chance that I will recover from this mood quite yet.

somewhat changing the subject:
I have to proof my book this week or next, received it yesterday afternoon. the first thing I noticed is that the cover isn’t what I expected or like very much. If need be I can live with it as what is important is on the inside which my mood can’t stand to read though right now. I’ve read so much of my own work lately preparing for this book that there isn’t room in my heart for another reading quite yet.

boots

when I go to tie my shoes
and break a lace, I don’t go
crazy and/or go off on a bender
where the normal narcotics are
augmented with an admixture
to include alcohol and speed.
this is not because I had a
balanced upbringing where
stability was taught and soaked
into the impressionistic brain;
but because years of being, bearing
witness to such madness taught me
that shoelaces break and
to only wear
side-zip boots.

 – Hoc Scripsi

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