Posts tagged ‘flowers’

August 16, 2015

am not asleep

by jhon baker

been awake too damn long and I’m sick of it.

nothing to do with the cup of coffee I just poured myself in one of my Vincent mugs.

I suppose it isn’t that late but I am hungry and looking for my angry fix.

I haven’t been sleeping well.

and the windows have faces that I can’t comprehend.

I put on my goggles and peer out into the darkness of the backyard sitting next to my wife who is equally as perplexed as I am but today I did not forget my medications.

I still feel the world spin and note the stench of cigarettes and dying sunflowers.

better than earlier when I could scent out the unique putrefaction of several birds finding only one feather.

but the couch got moved.

generally enervated and bone pain sick of it.

half-banana moon, toothpicks on the highway, sick of it.

skin falling off and miswriting sin, a lack of croutons in soup, sick of it.

tattoos, assassinating public figures, the FBI comes and visits me at six am, sick of it.

or I am in stir, a padded room with nothing but this white computer and the insatiable need to sleep.

or I am in a wheat field with crows thinking about a .38 special.

or I am in bed, lying prone, ready to fire with a hard-on and magazine dreams.

add a new category.

eleven: forty-six pm – my eye lids are heavy and I am over tired.

goodnight.

goodnight.

goodnight.

Advertisements
January 2, 2014

January Second

by jhon baker

I miss being a regular smoker but the cost is simply too high – in dollars and lungs.

I didn’t post yesterday – the first first I’ve missed in a few years.

I had nothing to add to last years first – reference that if you like.

In trying to put together a coherent collection of poems for a possible book I’ve found it harder than anticipated.

In polishing the language of a non-native speaker in book form I’ve found that harder than anticipated as well.

I should be busy but I am not.

Playing trumpet takes little time per day but a lot of energy.

Constant and chronic pain takes the most energy.

as does fighting the mental crash I see coming.

The coffee is cooling too quickly and I find myself refilling more often for heat.

I have flowers dying on the kitchen table – in yellow hues turning brown – in whites turning yellow.

 

 

July 3, 2012

redacted dreaming

by jhon baker

So if I don’t write something here soon the blog might wither and die like so many flowers and friendships.

Today I couldn’t bring myself from the cozy of bedroom into the heat of the day until noon… I’ve redacted the part about my dreaming of…. and lets just say it was worth staying in bed for.

I’ve been working on poetry and while nothing has really come of it yet – I am still working on it. There are two long poems which elude me and a shorter one which is simply not progressing the way it ought.

So I am sitting outside, away from my typewriter, sweating and drinking hot coffee – smoking cigarettes and waiting for the squirrels to be entertaining. Natures clown troupe #2243.

the plane overhead does not know I am trying to listen to Allen Ginsberg

but I am cursing it anyway

Too hot to ride my motorcycle today and nowhere to ride to. It isn’t Texas hot but mid-west hot and no rain in the forecast.

Too hot to sit outside (where I am) and contemplate the meaning of withering flowers.

This is golden fleeced loveliness.

May 11, 2012

the sun and the moon complete

by jhon baker

money

humbly

offers their

flowers

 

where did you get them? magnificent!

beautiful.

 

from the discard,

trash heap

the gutter, where everything

comes from.

the sewer, where everything

goes.

 

– Hoc Scripsi

December 11, 2011

a full bloom

by jhon baker

the flowers are yours.

>

wrapped bloom

naked,

plucked ripe,

full,

stripped.

>

to be virginal

>

and honeyed

in tactile, close

.  .  eye’d

.  .  sensations

.  .  and warm, full

inhalations,

pressing close

>

between your breasts.

>

– Hoc Scripsi

>
I stayed up late for this one last night and I am not sure it was worth it. but there it is. – Jhon

%d bloggers like this: