the job I hate, abhor

by jhon baker

I love my cats, kittens – so much that I want to suffocate them in loving embrace – twist their necks inside my large arms and love them to their death – this is a bit macabre.

I love them, I refuse to feed them unless there is urgency behind it. K feeds them. I clean out the litter box. the shit box. the piss box. I hate it – the smell, the shovel, the plastic bags from the grocery store, litter on the floor. I would potty train them but that was not only hard enough with my son but I mostly don’t want to sit at peace and be looked at crossly for taking too long by a fucking cat.

I also brush them and clip the nails with K’s assistance – but this I never mind – bathing them is a job best left to the professionals as they become assholes when wet – much like some people I know.


I wrote this at four am – this is what comes out mid basement catastrophe. Forgot to post it and now I am going to bed.


One Comment to “the job I hate, abhor”

  1. Oh, this just cracked me up! We have a cat box inside for our inside cats, and three in the garage for the gang of strays who have adopted us over the last ten years. I scoop the garage ones during the week and my husband takes care of the inside one twice a day, then he gets it all over the weekend. I am the feeder, groomer, meds administrator, driver to the vet, nail clipper, baby-talk greeter…..

    I am still laughing over the comment about being stared at by a cat. Good enough reason to never toilet train a cat, most definitely!

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