Magpie #46

by jhon baker
I’ve been playing a bit with forms lately and doing some inventing of my own, typically for the constraint which helps me to write. This is a reflection of one of those forms – which my forms make little sense and still involve little to no rhyme scheme – I can’t be bothered with it, not being able to use the best word is too constraining. I’ve done the rhyme thing and mostly wrote sonnets and the like during my @font-face { font-family: “Cambria”;}p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal { margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: “Times New Roman”; }div.Section1 { page: Section1; } juvenilia. 

left lying on the floor
where dropped 
in route to somewhere other
turned it’s aspect
apart from and
saintly away

the moment smells of sweat
lying unrested
wearing a buckle attached
tight to a belt, 
fastened loose, but
for safe keeping

left lying on the floor
where dropped, dark
brown, augments worn and pale planks
obfuscating
a vision, past, present
a moment varied

 – Hoc Scripsi

image from Willow at Magpie Tales #46

Now I need a title. Again to reference the image without utilizing the image. Does the poem require the image?

I think I talk too much.

Especially in sleep.

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6 Comments to “Magpie #46”

  1. The first thing that came to me was “I'll Be Right Back”, but I don't know why….

    Pearl

    p.s. Thanks for the shout-out, btw. 🙂 I can't begin to tell you how difficult it was to see my words in even something as small as a chap book. First it was handwriting, then typing, then the blog, now the chap book — and each experience has been initially disappointing shortly followed by exilirating.

  2. I do believe this is one of the longest poems I hav read of yours..

    These lines are amazing:
    “the moment smells of sweat
    lying unrested
    wearing a buckle attached
    tight to a belt,
    fastened loose, but
    for safe keeping..”

    Yes Jhon, I like this poem..alot…

  3. What about 'Lost' for a title? Short and to the point, and doesn't need the photo…

  4. Screw rhyming and pentameter. This is FANTASTIC.
    And I would use your last line for the title. “A Moment Varied”
    But that's me, and our differences are what make us.

  5. Kevin, I love that for a title – my wife thought that it doesn't need the photo, that none of mine yet do – She has proven in the past to be honest with my poetry and stories so I can believe her. Thank you Trellissimo for the confirmation on not needed the photo and thank you Lynne and Pearl.
    Pearl, I read the chap book through in one sitting and it was great!

  6. I think it stands steadfast without the image. In fact maybe moreso. You words are so violently rich that I don't know that imagery is ever needed, it's already there.

    I couldn't come up with anything for this one that wasn't bloody and bitter and bordering on pretentious. I applaud you for this one. I wish I had thought of it. But, then again, that is often true for many of your pieces.

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