it seems to be Monday morning, and glad of it.

by jhon baker

When I worked, Mondays were always the easiest day, Full of paperwork and sitting at the desk to get everything in the mail on time, I would start early, around five AM usually and be gone between 1-2pm. Of course this necessitated waking up at 4am but this whole thing has been a digression.
or is it? as I am mostly unsure about the direction I want to be in this morning and thinking a little of this afternoon but mostly of sleep and dreaming, specifically last nights. I don’t mean to live in the past a little but you have to admit, it is right there for us to do so.
I wonder if I will ever stop wanting to drink, smoke, take drugs.
I wonder if I will ever want to stop drinking coffee, writing, masturbating, playing with legos, loving legal voyeurism, among various other bad or dangerous things.
I don’t wonder these things too much because if I allow myself to live in the future I can see that the day will pass when these are not options but memories that I will continue to scribble about.
I look forward to being a dirty old man.
I look backward at being a dirty young man.
Right now is the middle. between two dirty states of being.
my thoughts are often unwilled intrusions, and I don’t act on most of them.
which is good because when I obsess, I obsess with the best of them.
I have a feeling that I will be adding to this later as I don’t feel finished yet. But am for now.

crap

1.
how much that each
one of us writes
is the summation or
fruition of
last nights dinner
today?

2.
in Irish pubs
you are surrounded by
la  la and hi ho’s

in the American bar
only by tears and
lives regretted or
lost.

I prefer neither nor
drinking – pills and
pain are my fixations.

 – Hoc Scripsi

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5 Comments to “it seems to be Monday morning, and glad of it.”

  1. You have a great blog going on here :0)

    All the best,
    Marnie

  2. Hi John, I can really appreciate how forthright you are in your writing. It is refreshing to say the least. It seems you say so what so many of us think but haven't a clue how to express it so well. I enjoyed and look forward to reading more.

    Warm regards,
    Julie, Thebighairedpoet~

  3. Okay, that was just weird. I signed my name because I don't mind my identity being public…but….I have difficulty posting as anything other than anonymous….okay, it's one of those Mondays when I don't want to look at the past and my current frame of mind is disgust for getting a ticket. Going 41 mph in a 25 was unintentional but punishable and will cost me in more ways than one.
    Sorry to complain on your blog….I feel at home because of your candor.

    Once again,
    I am Julie, Thebighairedpoet~

  4. I am on a roll now and little is going well for me today.
    Just realized I spelled your name wrong. Forgive me,….airhead moments like this mostly happen on Mondays.

    Julie, who needs sleep and a tranquilizer~

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