I awoke in my own bed this morning still worn out from the previous days driving. I do not regret my life.
By this I mean that I have lived hard and worn out my body. By this I mean that I have loved fully and still love completely my wife and son. By this I mean I may be crazy and have gotten that way from various treatments, concussions, drug and alcohol abuse and there is more, but for today and yesterday I think that I do not regret my life as once I could drive California to Chicago in thirty hours and still be okay after and now two days and 1100 miles with a few wrong turns has shown my endurance and that I do not regret my life.
ENDURANCE
having endured years of pain
solitude
and feeling like a crippled
boy,
I now have this painted
deep red four walls with a
couch room where I can do all of
my writing
without any concern of troubling anyone
even at 3 am.
I take naps on the couch brought from
ikea for around 800 bucks, it
has no real comfort but does
not make my back sore and
I do not have to move while sleeping to
remain.
I have a small desk on wheels
that a typewriter sits along side
a half empty box of 20 lb
fine business paper on which I compose
all my typewritten drafts.
a book shelf mainly occupied by typewriters,
clocks, a skeleton, amithaba and
a picture of 20 cats my
son drew first for his grandmother
then his mother and finally me.
I keep a massive dictionary in case
I need to consider a word or a spelling on
a cart like the one for the typewriter but grey.
My chair isn’t that comfortable but that
is best. Too relaxed and I will not write
too much or too well if I write at all.
and that of writing,
I don’t do too much of that now
as
I have a place in which to perform it.
– I wrote this
the platitudes of willful resemblance 