Posts tagged ‘quite possibly a ramble’

January 3, 2012

My truck is broken

by jhon baker

Sitting in the Hospital now with my MIL getting her daily infusion of antibiotics I am reminded that I am going to give up a vice soon. Smoking. We will see how that goes as my commitment is only to the money I’ll save and the example I’ll set for my boy. Problem being that I like to smoke, enjoy it most of the time but winter makes it hard to enjoy as we do not smoke inside the house out of respect for our son and cats – they’ve opted to not smoke so why should we be damaging their lungs – we are already corrupting them mentally and emotionally – why physically as well?

I am also thinking of my Ford F150 is not running correctly – badly in fact. Pretty sure that I’ve blown another coil, maybe two and that this will cost me a few hundred dollars at least and be a complete pain in the ass for the next day or so. I’ve been thinking of getting a newer vehicle, something lower to the ground and better on the pocketbook in terms of fueling costs and the truck isn’t making it easy for me to keep it. Is it a sign? probably no, if anything it is a sign that the feelings of the truck are hurt by my indecision about replacing it – mostly on the side of drive it into the ground but I don’t like it when they start to cost money for repairs.

a link: poetry another link: more than just poetry but my poetry

go to that link – read a bit, fall in love with my poem and others – print out a few copies and hand them out to complete strangers for nothing but the joy of force feeding people the beauty that exists around them always.

Where was I? In hospital, thinking of my truck and health in general, and then poetry always comes at odd times and sometimes like an erection in church, unwelcome and possibly improper. But for this we are thankful which is what makes it the most odd – thankful that poetry in the mind is like the massive erection in church or the day you decided to not wear underwear in jr high and had to go to the blackboard after rubbing the wrong/right way, laughter ensues and the pink never leaves your cheeks again so you grow a beard in your freshman year and learn to tolerate or kill, at least maim a little.

but that never happened to me.

I saw it on television which is as good as a memory of your own.

this post has no direction.

My MIL has been stripped half naked in the infusion lab for an impromptu change of her wound dressing because her wound vac wouldn’t shut up which is because it wasn’t actually working – only pretending. Poor woman.

time to go smoke.

May 16, 2011

This is clearly a post while avoiding an actual post

by jhon baker

I’ve managed to sit back at my typewriter these past few days and get out a few letters I owe to some folks – if you are one of those folks – it’ll be in the mail today.

There is the greatest amount of unfinished poetry in my box right now and as where I’ve the will to finish it, I’ve not the words or the clarity to see where the fault in the line lies.

I’ve been avoiding the dentist because I am in no pain – even when I eat a candy bar, which is unusual. However, after remembering all the pain control medications I am on I realized that I wouldn’t know if I were in pain or not unless it was as severe as my leg/hip/back/foot. There is a dentist appointment in my future.

I’ve been selected, without application, as the parent representative of my kids school to interview potential principles along with two teachers and the superintendent. It will be his final choice but my voice will be heard. Quite an honor to be chosen out of 1400 parents – some of whom requested to be the representative. I love interviewing and was always good at it, would have been a police officer if I wasn’t so damn distrusting of them.
Some say it is best to change the system from within – I disagree as once you join the group you are part and parcel of said system and gain, though human tendency, a sense of amity and understanding within the group.
people are resistant to change and may villainize the agent of even the most positive of changes.

if never tested, principles mean nothing and have no value.

broke one of my favorite coffee cups today – it had the definition of ‘nascent’ relayed in a humorous fashion.

sometimes there are things for which no other person can relate without being in situ, alongside your experience. This is the struggle of my poetry about pain.

a recent poet needs to be wrought into shape as a poem – it was that good.

this will receive no such treatment.

April 26, 2011

by jhon baker

Woke up late and decided that the coffee was perfect. Made a few phone calls and decided that I still need a new phone but am really trying to make the one I have last as long as electricity is being used. Perhaps even longer.
Waiting on a letter or two and needed to write two myself – or three but one would be to a person no longer counted among the living. I write her anyway because it makes me feel whole – or at least less wandering.
There is nothing wrong with being a wanderer or a traveler  in this world – what am I looking for? I’ll tell you when I get there, this will possibly have to be a postmortem conversation.
Like the one I had with the raccoon the other day.
I’ve recently sent two books out that were purchased from my paypal link to the right. I hope that they arrive fine and I’ve learned that Hardcovers need to either be sent media mail or priority, this ends me spending more on priority as I think media mail is for suckers.
Oh, well.
installed a new printer yesterday. Bought because the old one stopped communicating with my router. The new one didn’t communicate with the router either so I have determined it was the router, which only needed to be reset. now I have two printers but this is okay as my writing office is moving to the lower level of the house – next to the bar – and there is no printer down there for my laptop or to copy things which is all I tend to use the printer for. A copy machine.
Yesterdays poem must have sucked as the comments were too specific. I might rearrange it and do without the third and fourth section.

I long for slow waltzes in the company of my imagination.

January 5, 2011

not to piss anyone off

by jhon baker

Yesterday I was reading and interview with a so-called poet who wrote this tremendously bad poem (which I would offer a link but do not want to as I have no reason to hurt this mans feelings), I don’t know why I was interested in reading the interview after reading the poem but I was. Or maybe I read the poem only after reading a statement that knocked me cold.
The statement was (by memory) – “I am not acquainted with styles or technical jargons [sic] known to trained poets and therefore I write unrestrictedly [sic].” This is probably extremely close to what was said or exactly what was said.

I was struck cold by the statement that this so-called poet believes that he writes without restriction. Absurd. the two statements that make up the quotation do not follow. While I am not sure that I write “unrestrictedly” I am also not sure I would want to. My training as a poet is lack and as where I have studied several forms intimately, I am still studying fervently.
I wanted to reach out to him or comment, neither of which I did, and inform him that he is most certifiably restricted. In not knowing how to write in other styles, forms or what have you means simply that you are restricted to a single form – free form, that’s it. complete restriction – an inability to create outside this single parameter.

My greatest strength in writing is that I wrap myself in language and wear it as a skin. I am forever obsessed with it, and what can be done with it. My second strength is my understanding of the line and how it works and how it doesn’t work.
This is all from formal training and training as an obsessive autodidact.
To be without restraint is to know intimately and abandon it at will as it suits the purpose and created form or lack of form (which is still a form mind you.)

This person goes on to say that he doesn’t read poetry – only poetry by his fellow bloggers. I have to add that this is a further mistake.  It is a common thought that writers should spend more time reading than writing – I don’t know that I fully agree with that but certainly most of us are not so prolific that we cannot read a lot of what is offered – both academic and not. I tend toward the less academic but have a healthy regard for what has come before. Even Picasso studied the masters first and continued his regard and admiration of others works throughout his life.
I would think that not knowing what has come before – meaning that not only was there not a decent perusal of the subject but a complete and willing ignorance – would place you in the aspect of recreating the art from near scratch – this may seem intriguing and almost preferable when trying to create a new style or completely eschewing style altogether, but what you are doing is futile. One mind does not create a history, one mind does not invent wholly from nothing. Without a decent regard to style (meaning here writing in general, as in style manuals like strunk and white), and a decent regard for language (which how do we know language but by living in it and surrounding ourselves with it) what you end up creating is a jumble of words lined neatly along the left of a page (or center, or left). This is not poetry. Poetry is not anything and everything by choice in the matter. What is created is simply what has already been created, commented on and moved beyond.

I really don’t mean to offend anyone and am reasonably sure that the so-called poet in question doesn’t read this blog and has not heard of me at all (why would he?) – I do know that the connection I have to this person does occasionally read my blog and I do not want to offend her or put her in a position to feel like defending herself. I don’t honestly know that she would be up to the task anyway of defending this particular so-called poet. She requires no defense as she is a good person out in the world trying to do good things – I regard her highly and understand that she is only giving equal time and space to everyone who seeks it, my opinion of her selection of this particular person is not meant to reflect on her character, and should not be taken that way.

I also do not mean that he shouldn’t write – everyone should give it a try, much like waiting tables or receiving military type training, I mean to say that his regard for himself is self-centered in the extreme and he would benefit from some humility in his regard to his creations and seek to learn more about what he is trying to do. Seek to learn anything!

You cannot learn to write poetry from reading prose, you cannot learn to write poetry from doing nothing. The argument would then be that the masters would teach you to do nothing to perfect your writing – but therein lies my argument. You must first learn to do something correctly to later forget that you know it. There is a difference between someone who has learned deeply and proceeded to put it away in his/her mind than someone who has never learned at all.

Without knowing the restrictions (constraints) how can one possibly hope to avoid them?

That persons statement gives me energy to go back and get my MBA.

I reserve the right to change my mind.

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