the platitudes of willful resemblance

 my breath stinks
 my armpits smell
 my stomach aches
  
 I am not the man I thought I was
 better to be dead
 then have to spend a
  
  
 lifetime dying. but
 I’d be awkward as anyone
 else in anyother life
  
 so there is only
 this and
 with all,
  
 it perseveres.
  
 I cannot wash the
 stain of maleness
 off my clothes
  
 I am not the man I ought to have been
 only recently realizing
 that I have to obliterate all
  
 that should not be known
 or read, less it be known
 and read.
  
 and still,
  
 my breath stinks,
 my armpits smell.
 my stomach aches.
  
  
  
  - Hoc Scripsi