untitled dream #2, 2012
I was a wretch!
hit bottom when I refused to write this
no-more sentimental waste
(my brain isn’t big enough for this mythology)
in dream I live by the ocean
walking steadily on sands, shells
under stars, moon, visible planets
(all performing before my singular audience)
theme and variation on familiar interlude
treated to kitchen knives chopping boards
pieces abandoned and the night sky a deepest blue
(two typewriters humming and I am distracted)
struggle on step one, try not to wake
cacophonous malaise, the dream soundtrack
my admissions are deluded, so said
(Beethoven Sonata, NO. 23, underlay screaming)
I weep when I look upon Guernica
taste blood, harbor resentment at such brutality
turn away to self portraits and the ego
(clever deflection, tears, anger, id)
weep weep when I look upon sunrise
held in fraternal homosexual admiration
singing! singing, you are my sunshine, my only sunshine
(song of penance)
– Hoc Scripsi