Posts tagged ‘Aunt Kathryn’

April 27, 2011

Listening to Nick Cave and I couldn’t be happier about the rain

by jhon baker

Target shooting this morning, indoors at my favorite range – going with my favorite girl and my favorite pistol. The inspiration for Guernica was laid today in typical bloodbath inspirational fashion.

One of my favorite paintings – another one would be Van Gogh’s wheat field with crows painted shortly before his death – arguably his final painting.

This weekend there will be a family reunion of sorts in NC – memorializing the death of my very good friend and confidant – Aunt Kathryn. I’ve two siblings – A brother (an Actor of Theatre Undreground fame (yes, that is the spelling)) and a sister of Denver Co. Vet tech profession. She will be going while I am sure my brother will be home holding down the fort of my fathers business.
one and a half days there only and I wish death had better timing that we (K, Jackson and I) could spend more time.
I’ll be doing a reading of the last poem I sent to her and the last paragraph of the letter the poem was sent in. I still am unable to properly quantify the loss as I continue to write her letters that I am unable to send. They will be hand delivered to her in Heaven should I be able.

the poem to be read:

the artist dreams of nightsong and thinks of his paintings
 – For Aunt Kathryn

I wish the birds would sing
in the middle of the night
in winter,
though the windows are never open.

I wish the birds would sing in winter
though I stoop to pet a plant
inadvertently knocking over a light fixture.

I wish the birds would sing
in the middle of the night,
lights low, the party over
and missing every painting I’ve ever sold.

I wish the birds would sing
in the middle of the night
in winter,
though purple flowers want their bloom

 – Jhon Baker

I’ll later post the ending of the letter but as of now I am intertwined in memory and bereft with melancholy.

April 20, 2011

For Aunt Kathryn

by jhon baker

My heart is broken.

the post office doesn’t deliver to heaven.

and you’ve crossed the bridge

and are going home

——–

this is my star.
          bewildered,
     hanging down
     our heads
this is my star.

this is my star,
          vainly wishing and
     wishing on planets
     and suns
this is my star.

on bended knees
with clenching fists
praying or raging at your
Christian God

this is my star,
         to wonder and
     wonder and
     wonder,
this is my star.

 – Hoc Scripsi

April 18, 2011

For Aunt Kathryn

by jhon baker

though I can no longer dance.

I think everyday of the twostep.