Posts tagged ‘addiction’

June 4, 2010

I know of no exceptions

by jhon baker
“Every writer, without exception, is a masochist, a sadist, a peeping Tom, an exhibitionist, a narcissist, an injustice collector and a depressed person constantly haunted by fears of unproductivity”- Edmund Bergler

 I am forced to take today off from the typewriter and do other things. Don’t take this as complaining, my distractions are human and interesting, thus may yield something fruitful when I do sit in front of the typer and write. I only comment on it at all for the simple reason that today I wonder if the creative drought has ended like I thought or does it continue even to now? I’ve certainly had greater periods of output and quality but isn’t this getting into the semantics of what I mean by creative drought?

my eyes sting and are watering making it hard to concentrate.

I quoted the above as this fear of unproductivity that haunts me even at this very moment.  Should writers be defined by their shared concerns and malady’s, reading the above assures me that I am a writer – I will gladly admit to any of those and more!

at the track

I don’t go to the track and so this
poem cannot get

neither do I run (cannot)
or watch horses and dogs
chase rabbits or carry little men
and women.

however, should I need,
there are countless OTB
establishments around and a track
not too far away
in Arlington Heights, Il.

 – Hoc Scripsi

I live in Elgin so there is also a gambling boat nearby where I could go and blow my dividends or jerk off to the losing of heaps of cash while I witlessly hope I can win and become addicted to gambling. Another thing that can be added to the list is that most if not all writers have the addictive tendency, I mean this with much affection toward other writers and hope that they see the truth of these things and are not lying to themselves, but are these 100, truly without exception? Probably only 99 though I know of no exceptions.

April 15, 2010


by jhon baker

this morning I got nothing. I titled this as I just saw a video on it and am left wondering why why why??? neat, but only while naked, shiny and possibly blinding with hands on hips.


I’ve never met the man who isn’t torn between

clean, sober, right,
shame, bottle and heartbreak.

who isn’t sliding toward the selfish decision;
who isn’t the man he wanted to be.

prescription drugs, narcotics
bad poetry, tense moments

of quietude and longing.
leaning against rail fences

sun shining on his face.

 – Hoc Scripsi

I’ve been listening to Tom Waits all morning and this is maybe why I got nothing. This morning is about Tom Waits, which I was also listening to while watching the video (super soft porn) – so, admittedly, it was strange and leaves me wondering if I will forever associate – Way Down in the Hole – with Vajazzling, this might alter my life in the negative making it necessary to either get back on narcotics, heroin or simply up the other prescription medications.

 I think that I put the finish on the poem this morning (before the video), but I also know that it has been in the works for a few years and was simply bad on a reread yesterday. I axed more than half the original lines and wrote mostly from scratch.
So, as it is rare, I reach out for opinions.


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