the platitudes of willful resemblance

I wanted to build an ark,
so I built an ark.
I wanted to sail across oceans,
so I sailed across oceans.

I sailed to darkness
but failed to die.
broken
in pain
a fine madness
with the world colored beautiful
and sky an unfailing blue.

I left the city.

left behind Clarke and Belmont homeless
polishing leather walking
boots.
I left being street lamps
sitting in corners
under flat light of despairation.
left the window washers
tattoo parlors
left the cafes where young boys,
old boys laugh easily with homosexual motive.

left traffic, redlight, abandoned buildings
art houses, dance studios, opium dens
unlit coffee joints, bright coffee chains.
huddled, dark under evening porticoes
seeking out soporific dope;
a prodigious blindness.

2.
drunk on red wine or whiskey;
memories illuminated or fabricated
in winter where crocuses have no bloom
and life under the crushing weight
of foreign language operas
arias
elegant gibberish.

and so in love
beyond years or measure
youth or less.

belletristic notions
left in black notebooks
filled with variations
of you
as subject or apparition
in white dress
silken veil
with shoes off.

the under currents of sex
and whispered echoes of joy
with pornographic limp.

a Spanish tango.

3.
it’s all faded jazz,
blue paintings.
innumerable waves lapping the hull.
bow pushing out, cutting
untraceable patterns, pathways
away from the city, suburban landscapes,
rural forgottens and flowered forget-me-nots.
a miasmic noise,
a constant playing, discombobulated
music on old vinyl.

vibrant, beatific –
and sky, cerulean,
wisps of sundrenched rain clouds,
formless platitudes,

scenes from childhood
filmed in dream sequence
a moment rewound, rewound
played forward, backward, inestimable.
sweet, sad trumpet, an instrument of my childhood,
sings effortlessly, mellifluously
Sketches from Spain
gentle sweep of the sails and calm seas
with the world colored beautiful
vibrant, beatific
and sky an unfailing blue.