I am waiting
calmly, cautiously
I won’t take my life in 2012
it won’t be taken from me
the GMT constant isn’t
the world will not end then
as it has yet to do
I wish to arise unknowing
ignorant of the stars predilictions
– Hoc Scripsi
I am posting this today though I think it may be crap. I may delete it or drastically alter it. Right now I am tired from not sleeping well and dealing with the continued pain of walking, lying down, sitting and breathing so my ability to flesh out the thought may be incomplete. I take the meds again and realize that it’s been nearly four years since I’ve known a morning or afternoon or evening without being intimate with bone crushing pain. I need a new drug and I am addicted to not being in pain. Shifts of season and lack of proper sleep aggravate the situation.
The path my life has taken since the accident is one I wonder if given the chance would I relive and make a different decision that day – it was such a perfect day – tragedy gave me a gift and exacted a price. There is nothing that I can change about it so I try not to wonder if I would.
the platitudes of willful resemblance 