Posts tagged ‘Wife’

May 1, 2010

the wife

by jhon baker

Today is our ten year anniversary, so today is hers.

THE WIFE

it’s great, she
doesn’t ask me to help
clean more than pick up after
myself, or ask that my beard
be trimmed all that often.

she buys beer when I want it
and makes the coffee when it is
empty.

cooks, washes the
dishes, and makes sure that the
boy gets bathed often enough
and that he eats enough.

intelligent and reads a lot
so is easy to talk to and
we make love or laugh often
and sometimes there are tears
or both together.

I almost always have clean clothes
and she makes sure that
I buy new ones fairly often so
I  don’t look like a writer, or
a vagrant or a jazz musician;
which I am to varying degrees,
all three.

but none so successfully that
I can make the living at it.

           I
ask her why she does these things
with only the occasional complaint
(usually when she thinks I am
critical of her), and she says
that she loves me.

I believe her tho she never
believes that I am not critical
of her.
I am critical of
everyone else, even the self,
she is all that is close enough to perfect
that I don’t mind the headaches.

 – Hoc Scripsi

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April 13, 2010

this title has been sent in place of the missing one.

by jhon baker

For the first time in my life my brain is more or less silent. I’ve wished this for years and now I find that it was better with the chatting and screaming, singing and forceful memories like forced voyeurism. I don’t think I was crazy then but to try and will it back into existence is a little crazy at least. It might be that there is more tiredness, last night I fell asleep around nine while I was trying to write. What a change – going from insomnia to somnolence and now to sleeping hard with occasional hypersomnia. Last night was an anomaly where I usually get about six hours of the hard sleep -(usually: these past two weeks.).
I tend not to write much when I am creatively involved elsewhere, like building a lemonade stand of furniture grade quality for my son. Today is the last day of painting it and then I start on new drawers for my wife’s kitchen cabinets. I will need to take time off to write consciously I think, and organize my embarrassing garage situation. Writing is the more important of the tasks, I would allow the world to fall to ruin (luckily it’s already there!) before I allowed my writing to be negatively affected.

Theater Underground has just published another poem of mine on their blog. it’s a good read and Patrick Tillett has already seen it and commented (thank you, sir) – don’t be left out!
TUG is a production company doing some of the best and edgiest plays of anyone around. It is especially impressive because one step too far and they lose it all as they are so small still. They have probably taken a few stops too far but it’s great theater. If you are in the McHenry, Illinois Area next weekend (16th & 17th) be sure to see the plays. they are not to be missed.
once again the link: Blank Pages

Today’s offering

Forget that the kitchen is so full of knives

Forget that the kitchen is full of knives.
You are so serious and
I worry because I love you.

The watches are broken with dead batteries
filling the catchall in the hallway;
how do you use up so much nickel-hydride?

You are so beautiful and I
masturbate when I think of you,
specifically on the couch,

in mid-afternoon when you are at work.

oh yeah, thanks for the paper.

– Hoc Scripsi

Commenting on this blog: a quick reminder. click on the word comments below and it should either give you a window or a box or both, or click on the title of this entry and it will give you a box at the bottom of the complete post. I so enjoy the comments I receive via facebook and I would like everyone to see them – unless they are personal. Comments can be totally random or on point, I don’t care I just like to read them.

April 8, 2010

Picasso, Buddha, Bach vs. Back and sadness.

by jhon baker

Dear reader,

in 1973, Picasso dies on the Buddha’s birthday which all is recognized as having had happen on the eighth of April. This also happens to be today, and probably not by coincidence or design it is Kofi Annan’s birthday as well.
Today my wife goes grocery shopping, today she restocks us on sympathy cards because it has been a tough year and we’ve run short by one. My good friends mother passed suddenly and she is now going home. Today is a grieving day for many I know and I think deeply, meditate on what has happened, there is nothing I can do for my friend, there is nothing he has asked so I wait for further instruction. My thoughts are with him and his wife and his departed Mother. She was a good woman I hear, I was not of her company, and if you are the praying sort, pray for her now. If you are the meditating sort, meditate on the swiftness of death and the suddenness of her departure for her final, our final home.
Noah, I am with you where you are where you must be surrounded by love. Our hands are offered if you need but I doubt you will read this today.

I’ve discovered a poem amongst the completed poems of 2009 that had a word misspelled that completely altered the meaning and readability. So much so I couldn’t figure out the word and had to refer to the original draft. Sometimes MS Word auto corrects Bach to be back without due consideration for the content of the phrasing. The alteration did not improve the whole but destroyed it. Now even with the word corrected the whole is a loss and needs to be taken down to the studs and begun again.


the last three lines (containing the error now rectified) go thus:

the radio switches to Bach;
I make leave to
urinate.
as a haiku it would suck – as the ending of a poem it is decent but now needs a poem in front of it. Speaking of Haiku, here is some – not-haiku. I don’t write haiku, I used to but got tired of arguing with people stuck of the 5-7-5 but more than willing to ignore the necessary line references – Tomorrow I will excerpt my treatise on Haiku as today I talk about not-haiku.


Falling leaves:
      Magnificent!
Whose illusion?
____________________________

Killed a bug: my
life should be
so important.

___________________________

                     Melting snow.
The sounds of lovemaking
are infinitely brutal.

– Hoc Scripsi

There are dozens of these in my folders and binders. I really like to write them as an exercise in the correct words as they are meant to be painfully concise, and vividly detailed. I think each one goes through at least a weeks worth of revision and often ends nearer to the first draft than the seventh or seventeenth depending on how far I take it. Some – like the second were there immediately and took no revision. It was a moment when I had smashed some poor creature who was part of a greater whole, killed while performing some unknown vital task, and I took it’s life instantly filling with regret at the realization of the enormity and importance of such small beings. It was a satori moment for me.

next I thought of David Ignatow and how he captured a similar experience in a poem about killing a fly. that can be found here and here is a page of the book it is from, scanned by Google.

my auto correct knows to capitalize Google but not how to spell Bach. humph.

March 18, 2010

this is/this was

by jhon baker

Last night while ingesting a handful of prescription pain killers and mood stabilizers; my wife sat on the bed, beautiful and alluring, pushing her back on the bed and kissing long passionate depth, we made love, the kiss was among our best the groping was tantalizing , the visceral connection was enigmatically wondrous. In all the world last night there was not another two as deep and powerful as we.
and they say marriage is the killer of intimacy but no, no, no, it is the conjointment that only the profoundness of we know. My wife saved my life, she was the turning point between train wreck and the self I am. All my poetry is for her, this one is also dedicated to her.

this is/ this was
            to my wife, Kara

here, this is/ this was
the scene of our love
left only now to misshapen sheets
and my hands on your hands
    hands of a body
    your body
    eyes of windows immensity
    after evenings hour
    your moonlit being

here, this is/ this was
the scene of our love
and configuration of sleeping bodies
     head to head
     on cased feather pillows
dreamt singing voices
     of your gravity
     after midnights hour
and my obeisant being

this is
this was
the scene of
out love
now a windowless immensity
after mornings hour
and your vanished being

– I wrote this