Posts tagged ‘medications’

January 26, 2013

standards

by jhon baker

I’ve lowered my standards,
the problem might be that I had them in the first place.
you easily forget when you were at your best
in endless pursuit to surmount each previous work
and your output dwindles until you are
only writing fifty poems a year
which I guess is fine
though it is easier to say more if so inclined
and uninhibited
by meaningless constraints and various medications.

but don’t worry,
I’m still on the medications.

– Hoc Scripsi

May 21, 2012

catagory of no stipulation

by jhon baker

this moment is not so beautiful now

the booze of mental euphoria already in following morning

where headache rages

where rain creates a glow

and we eat eggs, hot sauce and drink water

staving off the more detrimental effects

but this is a category of no stipulation

and our efforts wasted

February 13, 2012

expanded abstract from reply to a comment

by jhon baker

I’m doing better now but still waiting for that creative energy that I normally posses. Lately I am finding most of my comfort in Kurt Vonnegut novels and such. I think I’ve written four poems so far this year and battling with the medications and things keep changing color… Coffee tastes good and Sunday was a day spent at home except for the lunch date with my son at a Buffalo wings joint.  I spent most of the waking day with KV and meant to get down to my writing room and sit there until I wrote something – anything.

I spent most of the resting day with K.
I’ve kept up my end on letters and think maybe I need to add a few more penpals as some I’ve had have stopped writing back. Those of you still getting letters do not fall into this category. I would limit myself to about 11 people to write back and forth with and right now there are three. To apply e-mail me or leave a comment and I can get back to you with my address.

There is utter silliness on the television and movies made by people who get their ideas from five year old children without any imagination which is infinitely worse than an adult script writer and director without any imagination.

September 5, 2011

215643 –

by jhon baker

Trying my hardest today to not bellow and shout, scream at everyone who breathes in my presence. The fault is entirely mine, or at least it is the fault of an unknown source fucking up my tolerance level for people, things, coffee and apt consideration.

Last night – or rather this morning between six and nine thirty I slept. The first real sleep in days not driven by highly charged emotional states and nightmares. and at the moment my wrist is bleeding.

I didn’t harm myself if that is the conclusion the reader has leapt to.

a stab into the wrist from a light construction project in the destruction phase. Well, it is meant to be a light construction/room rehab project but the further I am getting into it the more I am realizing that it is going to need and today I am not up to the task of contemplating how best to accomplish the goal.

what I need is a four in the afternoon nap, some heavy sedation and a beer or bottle of Yukon Jack.

my problems are petty and the coffee is warm.

I can’t write a poem in this mood, flashing downward in a silent movie circa 1928 train wreck and bugs bunny taunting the shotgun in manic high.

squirrels wear a fur coat made of raccoon hide.

June 15, 2011

four fingers

by jhon baker

sleep sleep – where are you now? on Benedryl max strength, ultram, cymbalta and norco – I should have passed out mid OJ guzzle – maybe to add whiskey.

I love for southern France,
with my wife,
beautiful and windy
like chicago,
but more beautiful,
like my wife.

 – this at one thirty-six am, drunk off medications, OJ but no whiskey. – I’ll take four fingers of your finest, please.

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