
August 16, 2015
am not asleep
been awake too damn long and I’m sick of it.
nothing to do with the cup of coffee I just poured myself in one of my Vincent mugs.
I suppose it isn’t that late but I am hungry and looking for my angry fix.
I haven’t been sleeping well.
and the windows have faces that I can’t comprehend.
I put on my goggles and peer out into the darkness of the backyard sitting next to my wife who is equally as perplexed as I am but today I did not forget my medications.
I still feel the world spin and note the stench of cigarettes and dying sunflowers.
better than earlier when I could scent out the unique putrefaction of several birds finding only one feather.
but the couch got moved.
generally enervated and bone pain sick of it.
half-banana moon, toothpicks on the highway, sick of it.
skin falling off and miswriting sin, a lack of croutons in soup, sick of it.
tattoos, assassinating public figures, the FBI comes and visits me at six am, sick of it.
or I am in stir, a padded room with nothing but this white computer and the insatiable need to sleep.
or I am in a wheat field with crows thinking about a .38 special.
or I am in bed, lying prone, ready to fire with a hard-on and magazine dreams.
add a new category.
eleven: forty-six pm – my eye lids are heavy and I am over tired.
goodnight.
goodnight.
goodnight.
August 29, 2011
I am no longer a spiritual guide
While I’m not lost, I am sojourning on my own. Sort of. I have my companions who each are on their own spiritual path but we tread together. K, Jackson, Micael, our dead and several others, still living; this is what I believe.
Buddha said to work it out for ourselves and that is what I am doing.
How long is this life? I do not fear death. How long is this life? I do not fear death. How long is this life? I do not fear death.
I have already died, they have already murdered me. I have tread a path to the other side so I know what is next and live accordingly.
Death has set at his table a place for this body eight times hence and will be set again; I shall remember the names of our dead.


