Archive for May, 2010

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May 25, 2010

ad infinitum

by jhon baker

The only great part about waking at five am is the quiet abound in the house. Even the cats still stalk the bits of paper and toy mice in silence. The coffee grinder makes noise but this early it is brought to the garage for it’s duty.
I’m awake now because I was worn out early yesterday and managed sleep by eleven pm. The new dosages make my sleep sound and solid, they offer clarity for a time now and I can breathe slowly without malice.
I’m awake now because I’ve enough of dreaming, I’ve enough of the parallel universe where it is the only place stranger than here.
I’m awake now as if I wasn’t this would not have been written,
I’m awake now to appreciate the body of the coffee, the smooth nature of the crushed bean.
I’m awake now because time is immaterial and time is only linear if man is.
I’m awake now.

I’ve had clarity these past few days and it is good, though I will doubt my own veracity tomorrow when the diseased mind takes control.

I still write love letters on her birthday and other hallmark recognized holidays, this is a failure as I should write them more now then ever as I am harder to love on a daily basis.

I am haunted by old friends whom I do not call anymore, I see them standing in windows looking on and through the corner of my eye, in the room with knives out.

the madness of poets is measured with a mythological ruler bought from a store called romantic bullshit.

today I will put holes through the words that failed to align properly and a memory that persists but asks for death and the mercy of a bullet (the papers are taped to targets and not my brain).

I’m awake now and can keep writing and writing this until I fall asleep again tonight.
so I will stop.

ad infinitum

my hair is dusty and I need to
take a shower.
I’ve been busy but I guess I
don’t move too much.

the sky has stopped falling and the
tractor has been repaired.

I’ve noticed that sex dreams only
get better with age and
experience.

same day same thought procession all in time
ad infinitum.

 – Hoc Scripsi

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May 24, 2010

I load my thirty-aught six to board the downtown train.

by jhon baker

I load my thirty-aught six to board the downtown train
passing aisles full of people chattering and marks of concern
while not noticing their silence
I load my thirty aught six to board the downtown train

 – Hoc Scripsi

this is the intro to a much longer poem I’ve written. For some reason it is only my mind this morning as I sit here in excruciating pain. My leg for some reason is acting up and once again I am thinking about excising it from existence.  somewhat common thought and most common on days where I didn’t sleep well the night before – for various reasons not related to my behavior I ended up in my writing room on the Ikea couch most of the evening. this may well be the source but I am betting on the humidity that is present throughout the air.
yesterday a plethora of birds were singing at this hour and soon stopped for most of the day. I imagine it was the 86-90 degree heat in May. Once the sun started going down they resumed their melodies and plaintive songs searching for love. I can only hope today that their serenade lasts throughout the day as I love to listen, like eaves dropping on two young lovers secure on the porch swing of imagination.

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May 23, 2010

fell asleep while writing this.

by jhon baker

the noise/voices wont shut the fuck up this morning and allow me to reach in, to find a way in, this promises to be short and uninteresting. I didn’t sleep well but fell asleep well after such good fucking. The brain is still refusing to work – so maybe a better post later.

If you read this before than I love you if not – here it is again.

the whole of earth

the whole of earth is
beautiful and I carry
a broken watch,
waiting for it to move.

the whole of earth is
beautiful though
we still drop bombs
on weddings and taxi drivers.

the whole of earth is
beautiful;
I am holy in it.

I keep impoverished in
my pockets.

the whole of earth is
beautiful and
I remember when I first
got laid.

               the whole of
earth is beautiful, we
watch home movies to remind.

the whole of earth is
beautiful regardless
of telephone poles,
regardless of
pornographic billboards.

the whole of earth is
beautiful, hearing
children play in the streets.

the whole of earth is
beautiful,
never to spite that which
vainly tries to
take its beauty.

-Hoc Scripsi

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May 22, 2010

a poem for Jackson

by jhon baker

the sun hides
–    for Jackson

The sun hides
behind clouds &
cold wind
but
   wishes
        to
shine down on
my garden
for the flowers

 – Hoc Scripsi

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